The Queen’s Birthday Weekend
On Monday the 2nd of June ,me and my sister Caroline ( her nickname to me is “Car”) were at our great grandmother’s (I just call her gran).When I woke up,I woke up to two people and for some reason my arms were sore,but since I usually find myself half on the ground when I wake up ,it was probably just me laying on my arms in the night (like usual).
After I woke up ,there was a tray with honey crackers and a hot chocolate. After “my wake up breakfast” and real breakfast, I went and reached up to one of the cupboards and got down my purple MP3 player and started listening to it ,here are some songs I listened to: Dark horse,G.U.Y, Should have known better,Survive(its weird and awesome)and a few others I can't remember.
Later that day I went shopping(not MY thing at all) with my gran and sister “Car” and got key rings for me and my two BFF’s Lilly and Alyssa.Just before that though, me Caroline and my gran went to try and find the books "My sister the Vampire",but we only found three books in two whitcoulls stores,which we obviously got.So now I've got three "My sister the Vampire" books,number 5(Take Two),6(Love Bites) and 10(Date With Destiny).
By Catherine
Catherine, you did really well by structuring your paragraphs with new ideas. I do think you could have added some complex punctuation and a few word wall words. Other than that a good piece. Well done!
ReplyDeleteCatherine, I like how you have used some complex punctuation Eg. brackets, but you could of used some more complex punctuation example explanation marks, ellipsis etc. I do like how you have structured your paragraphs. I really liked reading it!!!
ReplyDeleteCatherine, I liked the way you used lots of brackets but I think that you may have used a few to many, Maybe next time you could try to use some different complex punctuation to balance it out. You have structured it well and you punctuation is in the correct places. Just remember to use capital letters. A great piece. Well Done!
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