On the 31st of may my family and i had no sport on so we decided to do something special… but we did not know at all what we were going to do. mum and dad told us to think about something we we could do and tell them at breakfast.
For breakfast we had mushrooms, bacon, pancakes and french toast and it was delicious!!! Sophie and I didn't have any clue what we could do but Lucy and dad needed to get some new stuff like Lucy needed a present for her friend Paige and dad needed some new shoes.
When we got there I looked at my vans and i said to my mum and dad “I need some new vans” so they said “well… we could have a look”. When we got inside I found Amazon the shop; Amazon has heaps of cool clothes for boys and girls and including vans. I tried on a size eight when my old ones were size seven but the eights were still a bit small so I got some nines and tried them on and so we got the nines.
After the shop we went home and did some weeding to get some pocket money from mum and dad.
By:Josh
Josh I liked reading your writing, I think you need to add more vocabulary. I like how you used some complex punctuation, like your goal. You used some vocabulary example delicious etc. Try to use a variety of phrases and for your vocabulary to create the mood.
ReplyDeleteJosh, you need to work on sentence structure, putting punctuation in the right place and adding capital letters. You had a lot of good ideas but you could work on making it flow a bit better. You had great spelling and don't forget about those capital letters. other than that a great piece. Well done!
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