My favourite body part
is the brain because it makes me who I am. It’s what helps us to learn, walk,
talk, see, remember things and much more!
The brain is my
favourite body part because it’s what controls your whole body. If we didn't have it, we’d all be DEAD! It’s what keeps us alive, and it’s the
control system of our body.
The brains purpose is to
tell us what to do. If we wanted to walk to the playground, the brain would
send a message from the head, all the way down to the legs and say “WALK”. So
then your legs would start walking. If you were getting chased by a
fire-breathing dragon, your brain would command your legs to “RUN” “JUMP” “TURN”
“EAT SOME ICE CREAM” “RUN!!!”
The brain looks like a walnut
covered with a thin layer of wrinkled, grey tissue; Kind of like a very grey,
squishy jellybean that’s melting in the blazing sun. I hope you can now see why
the brain is my favourite body part.
Charlie Byrne.
I like your puntuation. You have used well quotation marks, exclamation marks and your use of capital letters when you wanted words to be BOLD.
ReplyDeleteI liked your structure and used a lot of good and relevant adjectives.
To tell you the truth this is very well written and very hard to find any constructive feedback for you to improve. Well done.
I like how you have expanded and elaborated your ideas. You have used your knowledge of punctuation very well but you could have added a few more complex words but other than that you have met all rubric areas.
ReplyDeleteWell done!!!